Relapse Policies for Sober Living Homes
One of the difficulties running a recovery residence is that there is not a lot of public information on best practices. Since sober living homes generally do not provide treatment, they are not regulated. As a result, it is up to the sober living home to write its own policy...which we know can lead to problems.
At our homes, we strive to make good policy. Policy in line with our purpose of creating an environment of acceptance and life change.
One of the most challenging issues any sober living home faces is the issue of relapse. What is the best policy for handling individuals that relapse? What is best for the person who relapsed? For the other members of the home?
National Association of Recovery Residence Recommendations
Although there isn’t a lot of government oversight of recovery residences, there are a few organizations that provide standards. Homes have the voluntary option to seek certification through these private agencies. Once of the best is the National Association of Recovery Residents, or NARR.
Here is what NARR says about relapses in a recovery resident or sober living home.
"For the safety of the resident and the community, a relapse is met with immediate appropriate action. In most recovery residences, this involves moving the individual out of the RR (recovery residence) and providing access to a level of support that will help them re-initiate recovery.
Relapses can be fatal! They endanger the life of the individual and the lives of everyone else in a RR. Most RRs oppose the concept of relapse as an expected and accepted part of the recovery process as a deadly proposition that undermines recovery stabilization and maintenance (White, 2010).
Relapse is a manifestation of addiction, not of recovery; it is a sign for immediate intervention and change. NARR requires each RR to define their relapse policy and to have procedures that do not “punish” an individual for relapsing but protect the health and well-being of that individual and the RR community as a whole. All recovery residences are abstinence-based environments—in contrast to “wet housing” that allows residents to use alcohol or other drugs or “damp housing” that discourages but does not exclude persons for using.”
The Zero Tolerance Policy
All sober living homes should have a “zero tolerance policy.” Meaning that absolutely no drugs or alcohol are allowed on the premises and the residents of the house must be clean from drugs and/or alcohol at all times.
This is a basic policy that all sober living homes must have. The question is with the implementation of that policy. What should be done if a resident is: in possession of drugs/alcohol at the house, under the influence at the house, using in the house versus using out of the house, dealing drugs, etc.
At some homes, “zero tolerance” means immediate eviction for any and all of the above violations. But should this be the policy for a “chronic and relapsing brain disease?”
What is the best policy?
In order to determine the best policy, it is important to lay out the potential issues and consequences of a violation, as well as the best path towards sobriety.
Potential Consequences of Relapse
Of course, for the person that relapses, the consequences can be severe, even fatal. Depression and hopelessness are common and they are at a higher risk of continuing to use.
A question that I struggle with after a resident relapses is this; “How do you know when it is necessary to move the persons back into inpatient or detox treatment?” “When is it appropriate for a person to return to a sober living home without inpatient or detox treatment?”
That is a hard question and I would love some feedback from you here.
I have errored in both directions. I have requested detox and inpatient treatment when a resident ended up not needing it. And I have allowed a good friend of mine to return to the house without treatment. Tragically, he went missing the next day and was found to have overdosed and died. A heart breaking experience that continues to haunt me regularly.
And then there are the potential consequences for the other residents in the home. If a person uses and is forgiven, how does that affect the mind and motivation of another person struggling to recover? If a person comes home under the influence, is that a trigger for other residents to use?
Our Previous Relapse Policy
The trigger that motivated me to write this article, is that we have recently changed our policy on relapses. Previously our policy was this:
If a person uses outside of the home and notifies our house manager, they are allowed back in the home after 1 day out.
If a person uses or is under the influence at the home, they are immediately evicted. This policy was intended to discourage people from being at home under the influence and potentially triggering other residents. I’m not sure that this policy made a difference...what is your opinion?
Our New Relapse Policy
Our new policy is if a person notifies our house manager that they have relapsed, they cannot come home for 72 hours and must test clean before re-entering the home.
We do not issue a fine for a relapse because we don’t believe punishment is an effective tool. We believe in forgiveness and 2nd chances.
If a person relapses a 2nd time, they are required to offer a plan for recovery at the next house meeting and the house votes on whether or not the resident is allowed back in the home. With the democratic vote, we are voting on whether or not we feel the person is sincere and committed to their plan of recovery.
At this moment, we do not have a policy on how many relapses are forgivable. Our policy is based on the sincerity, effort, and how committed a person is to recovery. If the person is sincere and committed, our forgiveness is unlimited. I understand that there is a potential for abuse and manipulation here, but as a follower of Christ who continually makes mistakes, I am very thankful for Gods grace and forgiveness in my life and seek to love people as God loves me.
Remember that a relapse doesn’t represent failure. It’s a learning opportunity that reveals missing recovery skills, and immediately re-engaging in therapy will help you address ways in which to strengthen your sobriety moving forward.
What are some factors that we missed in this article? What is your opinion?
